Failure
by Nikasha
Summary: Axel has failed...but maybe there will be another chance for him. AkuRoku, Roxas x Axel, one-shot.


It's supposed to be emotion and thought based. I also made up some of the life-story.

Enjoy~

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Things have never exactly been easy for me.

Being born a Nobody doesn't quite give you the name necessary for limelight, that which I always wanted…or my past self wanted, rather.

I appeared at the edge of some cursed town, with no knowledge of my past or my person. Some man in a black coat, hood hiding his face, appeared out of nowhere and told me, "I have a name and a purpose for you, if you want them. Come with me, and I will give you both."

I remember that moment, feeling like I stood on the edge of a desolate mountain, being told to jump into the strange, beautiful sea.

I took the leap, of course. "Sounds good to me. I have nothing to lose."

At the time, I didn't. I didn't know what was to come. I just wanted to fill that uncomfortable emptiness. That emptiness where a heart should have been beating.

The man smiled. "Ok. Welcome to Organization XIII." He handed him a black coat similar to his own.

I put it on. "So, the name?"

The man held out two spiked wheels. They vanished and reappeared in my hands. They felt like they belonged there, like I had always had them. I examined them.

The man said, "Axel. Your name is Axel."

So I went with the man into this Organization. I did a ton of actions in the name of Organization XIII, and yet, I really only made friends with the thirteenth member…Roxas. Ok, so I knew someday I would lose him, that he'd have to return to Sora, or that the Organization would find his usefulness complete and kill him. But I couldn't help it, he had this strange innocence you don't see in Nobodies. Not to mention, he was chosen by the Keyblade, making him even more intriguing.

Perhaps I…should have foreseen the outcome of this. The memories of such pure souls in a body, even in one such as a Nobody, would have intense repercussions.

When Roxas was knocked out and locked away, I knew the time was coming. Roxas was going to leave me, and I got scared. I tried to bring him back, but he didn't know me—he didn't remember…It hurt that he didn't remember, even though it wasn't his fault. But were his memories of me really so weak that they would be so easily erased?

He needs to remember…or I'll have to erase him, and I can't do that, I can't…

Crap. Why am I crying? He's gone, so what. I have others to protect. I still have a purpose.

They say we don't have a heart…Then why am I crying? Why did Roxas cry when DiZ made him so pissed?

We are not Heartless!

Only Nobody.

Crap.

There's a presence behind me. I recognize it, but I must be mistaken. Not only is it impossible, but he wouldn't come see me. I'm Nobody. And he's not anymore.

"Axel."

I won't turn around. If I do...If I do…No…

I'm back on the mountain, as bleak as ever, but now the sea is just as dark.

Just as terrifying.

I can't do it this time. I can't jump. So I get pushed.

"Axel, it's me. You know it's me. Please."

And I'm turning and now I'm looking at him, at my best friend, at the only one that ever truly cared for me. And my voice speaks on its own. "How?"

Roxas spreads his arms. "It just is, and I just am," he answers cryptically.

I cackle. "Jerk. Can't I get a real answer?"

"I'm here," he murmurs, frowning a bit. "Is that not enough?"

"More than enough," I reply readily. "How…How long are you…?" I can't finish the thought. It'll break my nonexistent heart if he can't stay.

"I'm staying," he whispers, looking so pitying.

I sigh, full of conflicting emotions that give me a headache and make me hurt. I'm angry, sad, delighted, so many things…And why am I feeling anything? I have no heart! "You didn't remember me in time," I can't help saying.

"Sorry," is the best answer I'll get.

There's a silence, then I walk over to him and poke him in the forehead. Childish, maybe, but it makes me feel better. "So you are real," I inform him.

He nods. "So we can hang out again," he comments.

"Are you going to frown the whole time?" I joke. My happiness and hope are beginning to rise, despite my efforts to contain them.

Roxas smiled softly, and they break free of my control. I've always been a sucker for that sweet smile. "No," he replies.

I hug him—can't help myself. I tried to help him, I failed, and yet here he is again, surpassing my expectations. "Don't leave me," I growl. "Not again."

"I won't," he says, and he's hugging me back.

All those memories and confusions and frustrations are just gone. He has settled my…my heart. Well, if we don't have a heart, perhaps we at least have a soul, if we are more than ghosts, which I believe we are. So he settled my soul.

I'll protect him this time, from everything, with my life.

I won't fail.

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There ya go. Axel is very fun to write.

If it seemed to get a bit hectic in a spot, it's because I was trying to convey how muddled and tangled his thoughts were getting. Also, if lines seem disjointed sometimes, it was because I was trying to emphasize where his thought was connected and where it was sort of...emphatic.

Tell how you liked the first-person present! I may use it in other stories.

Please review, I love reviews! And critiques are even better. ^w^

Thanks for reading!


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